


A Little Misunderstanding

by lds



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-26
Updated: 2007-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-06 05:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lds/pseuds/lds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life doesn't run smoothly for McKay and Lorne as both misinterpret what is being said (or unsaid).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Riley

"I was reading over some of the data that Dr. Lindsay had compiled through her talks with Ronon…" Rodney McKay informed his seated companion as he paced around his quarters.

"You what?"

"Dr. Lindsay – anthropologist, I believe you know her." McKay waved his arms and glared at the man. "Are you following this conversation?"

"Still back at the part where you seem to be the only one noticing Ronon's depression from 'cultural adjustments' – you, the least observant of human nature on your team, by a long shot." A clearly confused Evan Lorne rubbed his forehead in frustration. "And now you are saying you voluntarily read something one of those much-maligned colleagues of yours wrote."

"Depression might be a bit strong of a word to use," the scientist admitted. "More of a slight funk, a little off kilter."

"And you're the one that is noticing this?"

"Don't strain your brain wrapping your head around the idea of my noticing something about a fellow human being. It does happen from time to time," McKay huffed in an injured voice. "And of course I am willing to read through the drivel of some so-called social scientist if I think it could possibly be of help. Probably talking to her brought the whole thing on, if you think about it."

"Uh, okay," a bemused Lorne replied, nodding slowly, wondering to himself when Rodney had gotten so interested in his team-mate. He supposed that if it was something of a very serious nature McKay would take an interest even though it didn't relate directly to him. But then, shouldn't someone else - anyone else really - have noticed it as well?

"If you are able to work through your bafflement you might find some of what I read interesting. It would appear that, unlike your completely homophobic organization, the Satedans were quite forward thinking - or maybe I should say backwards, as it is in line with practises of older Earth cultures. Giving a different meaning to the phrase, 'Warrior Bond'. I am sure even in your current bewildered state you can get where I am going with this." McKay fluttered his hands in time with the ending shot.

"So," Lorne asked with a sinking feeling in his stomach, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer, "you want us to what? Ask him to join in?"

That question brought McKay to a stand still, his insecurities taking hold, in his mind an explanation to why Lorne, not normally that dense, was having problems following the conversation. The scientist suspected that his boyfriend was harbouring an interest in Ronon and the man couldn't understand how McKay had seen what clearly he had missed. Well, he should have known that he couldn't keep the interest of someone like the Major, other hotter or prettier people would grab it. And now he has gone and confirmed something about one of those hotter, prettier people. McKay's insecurities quickly convinced him that Lorne was probably plotting a way to this information to get Ronon into his bed.

"So that's it," a suddenly jealous McKay snapped. Turning toward the bed, he grabbed Lorne by the arm and dragged him over to the entrance of his quarters. The door slid open as the two men approached.

"What's it?" asked Lorne. He had thought he could not get anymore confused during the conversation and was now being proven wrong. The astrophysicist shoved the perplexed man through the exit.

"Why don't you skip a step?" And with that the door slammed shut. Well not really as doors in Atlantis don't actually slam, but it felt like a slam to the men on both sides.

Lorne stared at the door which remained stubbornly closed, trying to figure out what step he needed to skip and why he felt like he had missed an entire conversation. He had been in the room while McKay was speaking, but what he was hearing and what the scientist was saying had definitely been out of sync for it to have ended this way.

It was someone clearing his throat behind him that broke the Major out of his stupor. The unexpected sound caused him to jump, twirling around to see who had managed to sneak up on him. He came face to face with his commanding officer, Col. John Sheppard, who smirked at him.

"You look a little lost there, Major," Sheppard observed.

"That would be because I am."

"If it's any help, you are in Atlantis, standing outside Dr. McKay's quarters." Sheppard smiled at his little joke. However, the heated flash across Lorne's eyes indicated that his attempt at levity was not appreciated. Taking a deep breath he tried a more serious query, "What exactly has you dazed and confused outside the good doctor's doorway?"

Thee still befuddled officer replied, "Well, I was trying to follow McKay's logic…"

"I'm gotten pretty good at" keeping up with the rapid logic of Rodney McKay, maybe I can help clarify what he said," Sheppard offered as Lorne shook his head, realizing who it was he was talking to and how it really would not do to tell him the nature of the conversation – the "Don't Tell" part of the US armed forces policy applying to the situation.

"That's okay, sir. I'll figure it out. Find someone else to talk to." Lorne attempted the fastest retreat possible without appearing to be running away.

Left in the Major's wake was one disconcerted Lieutenant Colonel. Sheppard wasn't sure if the "someone else" was another scientist to explain some theory that Lorne had asked McKay about, or someone to talk about something a little more personal. Though there wasn't any reason to expect the two to be discussing anything particularly. He would have to needle his team's resident astrophysicist to find out the why to this little mystery. All four members were going to have a little get-together later, some non-mission based team building, and he would try to find out then.

XXXX

McKay sat in the corner of the room, glowering at all of his team-mates. His rational side knew it wasn't fair to hold a grudge against Ronon, since all he was guilty of was existing. However, the scientist didn't feel like being rational about it. He included Sheppard in his brooding glares as he was the reason that Ronon was existing here on Atlantis. That, and his friend had been annoying him throughout the whole get-together. As far as Rodney was concerned, the only innocent victim of his mood was Teyla Emmagan, but as she was on the same team, she too felt the scorn of the ill-humoured astrophysicist.

"What's his problem anyway?" Ronon addressed Sheppard while jerking his head in McKay's general direction. Earlier attempts speak to the scientist directly had resulted in a cold shoulder.

"I don't know," an exasperated Sheppard sighed. "This sulking of yours is not conducive to team building, Rodney."

"Do I look like someone who cares?" growled McKay.

"Would you be more comfortable speaking to one of us alone?" queried Teyla as Sheppard asked, "Does this have something to do with Lorne?"

"Definitely not. And how the heck did Major Lorne get involved in this," snapped McKay.

Ronon and Teyla also turned a curious look at Sheppard for bringing up the Major. Sheppard merely shrugged his shoulders at the two puzzled team-mates before addressing McKay.

"He was standing outside your quarters earlier today, looking a little worse for wear. Thought your bad mood might be connected."

"Well you thought wrong. Wouldn't be the first time," McKay sneered. He may be pissed off at the airman but he wasn't going to out him to his commanding officer. He wasn't that petty. "Not that it would be any of your business, anyway."

"When it spills over and affects the team dynamic it becomes my business," snapped Sheppard.

Teyla sized up her moody team-mate. He appeared to be suffering, an emotional issue most likely. She knew enough about who McKay had been spending his free time with and was familiar enough with the policies of the US military to know he would not open up to the Colonel.

She addressed Sheppard quietly, "Let me speak to him alone. I do believe I can be of assistance."

"Fine, you try and deal with him," Sheppard conceded. McKay had shown no inclination to share anything with. He signalled for Ronon to leave with him.

"So they leave you to deal with the cranky scientist."

"I do believe I understand somewhat that which is bothering you."

"Really?" snorted McKay in disbelief.

"You would not want to discuss whatever happened between yourself and the Major with Col. Sheppard, as it would put him in an awkward situation given current regulations."

"Not that he'd care."

"I do believe John was expressing his concern in his own unique way before he left."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "It is unique, I'll give you that. No, I meant the whole who I was seeing part."

Teyla raised an eyebrow in response to the scientist's speaking of his relationship in the past tense. "You do not think the Colonel would enforce the rules."

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell is a convoluted policy that prevents those who do not approve of gays in the military from doing a witch hunt to root them out. It doesn't offer any protection if you are found out, the ban on such individuals serving is still in place. If Sheppard had firm knowledge of homosexuals serving under his command, I don't know whether or not he would feel obligated to discharge them. Given there is a lot of leeway in interpreting 'knowing' something, he'd probably be safe. Sheppard wouldn't be bothered to do anything about it if he didn't have to. Possibly even if he did." McKay took a deep breath. "Really, it's more about not confirming anything so that he has real deniability if one of the assholes who have a problem with him being in charge here try to use his laid-back attitude about the policy on homosexuals against him. Twisting the insanity of the situation to achieve their political agenda."

Teyla smiled at the explanation. "I am sure the Colonel would appreciate the concern for him."

"Yeah, well, it's concern about team members that got me into this mess."

"And how was that exactly?" Teyla prompted the scientist to continue. She had expected it to be a little more difficult to get the man to open up but she was not questioning her good luck.

McKay eyed her suspiciously. "I noticed that Ronon had been down lately, especially after talking to Dr. Lindsay so I took a look through her notes to see if there was something in particular that might be affecting him."

"It is sweet of you to be concerned." Teyla was touched that McKay would put forth such an effort for one of his team-mates. "I could see how talking about the culture and traditions of Sateda would be emotionally stressful. Especially with so few of them left. In some ways, it may remind him that this is a way that his world will continue on in some form."

"Yeah, though there was some interesting stuff in her notes, I kind of concluded the same thing. Thought I might find something we could do to lift the big ape's spirits. A tolerable tradition we could carry on."

"Did you find anything?"

"Not really. I was sharing some of the more interesting ones with Evan, but that's when it went sour." McKay sighed forlornly.

Teyla tilted her head, his gaze piercing into McKay as though she could read his thoughts. "And of course, Major Lorne knew you were simply sharing because otherwise he would probably assume you were seeking solutions. It is, after all, what you do when confronted with a problem."

"Doesn't really matter, does it? He made certain things clear."

"Did he?" questioned Teyla. "Or did your own insecurities interpret his words that way? I have observed that you are insecure about your position in the relationship. What you did not see however, Rodney, was the time and energy that the Major put in beforehand to gain your attention. I do believe you were busy being oblivious."

"All I did was mention a certain custom and he was all over it with this helpful suggestion. And no, I don't think I misunderstood that." McKay got up to leave before Teyla had a chance to question him further, his vulnerability written across his face.

Watching her team-mate's back as he left, his head and shoulders hung low, she decided that she would have a word with the Major – try and clear up whatever misunderstanding happened from that angle. Unlike McKay with his self doubts, she was aware that the airman was quite besotted with the astrophysicist and was sure he had in no way intended to suggest something that would in actual fact end the relationship. But first, she was going to have to find out from Ronon what Satedan custom could cause Rodney to jump to such an unhappy conclusion.

XXXX

Lorne lay on his bunk with a stress ball, playing a game of catch with himself. Up and down, up and down in a hypnotic motion. Lt. Laura Cadman sat on a chair next to his bed, her feet propped up on the mattress following the path of the ball. The man had dragged her into his quarters claiming he needed to talk but had yet to say a word.

Reaching out and grabbing the little globe mid-toss Cadman sighed, "Okay, spill it. What did Rodney do or not do now?"

"What makes you think it has anything to do with McKay?"

"Gee I don't know, Major Mopey. Could it be your mood? Only time you get like this is when it relates to 'relationship problems' and last time I checked that traces back to a certain scientist we both know."

"Yeah, well, that might not be the case anymore."

Cadman's jaw dropped on that comment. "Excuse me? What the hell does that mean? What happened? How did you screw it up?"

I don't know. I'm still figuring that part out," Lorne replied mechanically before twisting his head to glare at his companion. "And why did you assume it was my doing anyway?"

Cadman pointed at him. "Low maintenance. Everything just kind of bounces off. McKay, definitely high maintenance. Low maintenance said or did something to upset high maintenance, therefore its low maintenance's fault."

"Shouldn't it be high maintenance's fault for… well, being high maintenance in the first place?"

"You did meet McKay before going after him right? You knew what you were getting into. No sympathy on the whole high maintenance thing, my friend. Now, let's review what happened."

"Let's see. We were in Rodney's quarters chatting." Lorne glared at his smirking friend, wishing he still had that ball so he could throw it at her. "No, that's not what we call it. Do you want to hear this, or sit there reading kinky stuff into what I'm saying?"

"I don't see why I have to make a choice. I am perfectly capable of doing both," was Cadman's indignant reply.

Lorne rolled his eyes at the woman and continued, "Anyway, Rodney was going on about how Ronon seemed depressed as of late and that no one else appeared to be picking up on it, which I have to admit threw me a little because a) when did McKay start paying that much attention to Ronon…"

"Jealousy rears its ugly head."

Lorne scowled, "Do you mind."

"No, actually, I don't. But please, do continue," quipped Cadman smugly.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, and b) how is it he is the only one noticing this? I mean I had to bend over backwards…"

"Oh, I'd like to see that." Cadman stifled a laugh and ducked as Lorne tossed a pillow at her. She held up her hands in surrender. "Fine, I'll be good. I have to admit, Rodney is rather oblivious, so I could see how it would come as a surprise."

"Do you have any idea how much time and energy I spent trying to get that man to focus on me?" Lorne punched the mattress in frustration.

"Yes I do. I had to listen to you vent."

Lorne sat up and grabbed the pillow he had thrown earlier and propped himself up in a comfortable position. Cadman pitched over his little globe ball when he held out his hand and he started to lob it back and forth before continuing.

"So apparently he doesn't have the same attention span issues with Ronon…" Lorne glared as Cadman coughed something under her breath. "I heard that."

"Heard what? I didn't say a thing."

"I really need to find a new person to talk to about these things." Lorne sighed then stared pointedly at his companion. "To continue, Rodney had fixated on some problem of one of his team-mates and decided to try and find a solution. As Ronon has been talking to Lindsay about Satedan culture and traditions, Rodney felt that this was a good place to start and got her notes to read."

"Whoa. Whoa. He did what? That's a soft science you are talking about, and he read it voluntarily? Not work-related or possibly leading to a ZPM?" Cadman was impressed.

"Like I said, he was looking for a solution. Not that he'd do something like that for me. Tell me to get over it, if he noticed in the first place."

Cadman leant over and whopped him on the side of his head. "Of course he'd notice. He didn't stay oblivious to you. Now continue."

"Do you think I can continue without the threat of violence?"

"I make no guarantees. Try not to say anything stupid."

"So he starts talking about this 'Warrior Bond'…"

"Oh, is that like what I think it is? Ancient soldier stuff."

Lorne eyed the lieutenant wearily. "Yes, it is what you think it is. And I am trying to figure out where he is going with this, so I asked. It was a simple question really. I mean, I have no interest in bonding with Ronon that way. Nice enough guy and all, but not my type."

"Then there's the fact you don't share well. But I bet if Rodney asked real nice like..."

Lorne narrowed his eyes, "Right… Rodney asking nicely. Do you remember the shared body experience?"

"Like I could forget. But he was nice, kinda, at the end. When it looked like one of us would just fade away. He wasn't all 'it will have to be you' or anything like that, though I am sure some would expect him to be. In fact, he went tearing off to the labs to get me out of his head and into my own body once and for all."

"I am aware that he can be good about some things, not always quite the arrogant asshole people think. I like finding out about the stuff underneath the bluster. But there was no way, no matter how nice he asks, I was agreeing."

"You know, you would think, looking at you, that you'd be more secure." Lorne stuck his tongue out at her while Cadman continued, "But really, you're as bad as Rodney. We're going to have to look into that in more detail some day."

"You're going to become a therapist now?" Lorne scrunched up his face at the thought. "Should I warn Dr. Heightmeyer she has competition?"

"So you ever going to get to the part where you get into trouble with your man?"

"I have. I got tossed out over asking the question. Apparently it wasn't a threesome thing he had in mind. Take care of that little tradition all by himself, I guess." Lorne sniffed.

"Please, the man can barely handle one intimate relationship. Two would probably kill him."

"So he gets rid of one. Throws him out of the room without necessarily going through the break-up."

"Please, that's way too clever for Rodney." Cadman snorted in disbelief.

Lorne folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow, sceptical of what his companion was saying.

Cadman defended her position. "Seriously, he's very science clever; don't come much cleverer than him. But don't tell him I said that. People-wise, not so clever at all. That you can tell him I said."

"And there I was standing outside his door. Not a clue what just happened and who comes along – Sheppard. I was almost stupid enough to actually tell him why."

"I doubt he'd care, or do anything about it, military-wise. On a personal level, well, he and McKay are close so he might be able to help."

Lorne sat up on the bed, swinging his legs over the side. "It's not Sheppard's reaction I'm concerned about. It's more how some people out there could use it against him. Stack up enough stuff against him and they might actually get him removed from the command."

"True enough, I guess. Of course, what you really need to know is what exactly Rodney is thinking." Cadman couldn't see his reaction to that as Lorne had taken up pacing behind her.

Lorne mused on that tidbit for a while, striding back and forth across the room. He needed bigger quarters; this one was not suitable for burning off nervous energy at all.

"That's going to be difficult since he won't talk to me."

"Well don't look at me. I'm like a pariah to him, especially if we are talking about this kind of stuff. You kiss one woman on his behalf and one man on your own while sharing a body and he holds a grudge forever."

"That's my Rodney."

XXXX

"I was hoping to speak to you about some of your customs, preferably before we are joined by others."

Ronon looked up from his breakfast to eye the woman sitting across from him. Nodding his agreement to such queries to Teyla, he asked, "Any one in particular?"

"I am not sure However, it would seem that the root of Rodney's current problem stems from a discussion regarding Satedan tradition."

What? He thinks I am going to steal his man," snorted Ronon. "Like I'd have a chance if I were interested."

"I do not believe that is a concern of Rodney's. He is familiar with your sense of loyalty and knows you would not do so even if you were interested." Teyla smiled at her team-mate. "He may not show it with how he chooses to address you, but he does respect you and is aware of your quality of character."

"Actually, given it's McKay, that is probably how he shows it."

Teyla nodded he agreement with Ronon's insight into their most volatile team member. "So I take it there is a custom that might set off the Doctor's insecurities."

"Well I guess, if he was talking about Satedan tradition that allows members of the military to bond. Referring to a very intimate form of bonding," Ronon smirked. "It was one that rose from the warriors being away from the main settlements of Sateda for long periods of time."

"I suppose that is a likely candidate then."

"Why? Not like I am going to bond with the Major. And we are at the settlement most of the time." Ronon gestured to his surroundings. "Though some did keep up such relationships when back at civilization. Unlike some Earth militaries, it wasn't an issue on Sateda."

"What wasn't an issue on Sateda?" Sheppard dropped his tray on the table next to Teyla and sat down. He waited expectantly for an answer.

An odd look passed between Teyla and Ronon before she opted to offer an explanation. "I was inquiring about Sateda customs."

"Popular topic with the ladies, huh?" Sheppard quipped. "First Dr. Lindsay, now you. Now her I understand, nature of her business, but you… Any reason why?"

"If you must know," sighed Ronon, "And we know you must because you are as bad as McKay about this stuff."

Sheppard flashed the large man an angry look.

"That is true," Teyla concurred. "Maybe even worse than Rodney."

"Gee, great guys, compare me to McKay to distract me. Not going to work. Now what exactly were you two talking about?" Sheppard glanced between his two team-mates.

"Ronon was telling me about their Warrior Bonds."

"Yeah, Sateda was a little more open minded when it comes to intimacy between to members of the same sex."

"Well that depends on the country or person you are talking about." Sheppard furrowed his brow as he remembered that Teyla had been talking to the only team member not present about his attitude. "What? Rodney thinks you want to bond with him?"

"Not exactly," Teyla replied as Ronon tried not to laugh at the confusion on Sheppard's face.

"Because Canada - very open minded about the whole thing. The same can not be said for all Canadians," Sheppard informed the two. "Though I wouldn't have put McKay in that category. So he is having problems with you wanting to bond with another male."

"Not exactly," stated Ronon, deliberately mirroring Teyla's earlier comment.

"This is like pulling teeth," Sheppard complained. His eyes popped open wide when a memory flittered across his mind. "This doesn't have anything to do with Lorne standing all confused outside McKay's door, does it? You want to bond with the Major?"

"Not exactly. And why are you familiar with pulling out someone's teeth?" Teyla smiled innocently while Ronon gave in and laughed.

"I'm glad you asked that," the Satedan guffawed in connection with Teyla's query not Sheppard's.

"The teeth thing is just an Earth saying." Sheppard dismissed the question distractedly, his mind racing on the implications on what was not being said. "So… McKay thinks Lorne wants to bond with Ronon? Why would Rodney care about that?"

"We could draw him diagrams," Teyla commented to Ronon.

"I don't think it'll help."

"So…" The perplexed leader of their team forged ahead, looking for the right answer. "Rodney is unhappy about Lorne wanting to bond with Ronon."

"Actually I do not believe that Major Lorne has any interest in bonding with Ronon," offered Teyla. She was taking pity on the man as he seemed about ready to pop a blood vessel, his face scrunched tight as he worked through the puzzle.

Ronon nodded in agreement. "More just McKay thinking he does."

"And Rodney cares about this because…" Sheppard put a few more pieces together in his head. "He wants to bond with Ronon and doesn't like the competition?"

Ronon banged on the table while Teyla laughed and once again provided a hint. "No, Rodney does not want to bond with Ronon."

"No one wants to bond with me." Ronon muttered in unison with Teyla.

"That's good to hear." Cadman threw there way as she past he table, causing all three seated to jump. "Because that idea is not going over well in certain quarters. The Rodney wanting to, not the no one wanting to. In fact I can think of several wanting tos, both genders."

Ronon and Teyla smiled at the friendly lieutenant.

"Nothing for anyone to worry about." Teyla reassured her, thinking that this way it is possible to get this straightened out without having to speak to Major Lorne directly.

"How does Cadman fit into this?" Sheppard tried to understand the latest turn in the conversation, Teyla was trying to comfort the other woman over the whole bonding issue.

Three heads pivoted towards the befuddled airman.

"Cadman has nothing to do with this, Sheppard," Ronon informed him.

"That comment was not for me directly, sir. More something to pass on."

"We're back to Lorne aren't we?" Sheppard griped.

Three sets of eyebrows were raised in answer to the question.

"Fine! Don't tell…" Sheppard stopped dead, half way standing to leave. "Oh. Don't tell. I see. Actually I didn't see, but I do now. Well not actually see, because really I rather not."

"Took you long enough."

XXXX

Laura Cadman stuck her head around the corner and looked at her friend, one of her best at that, sitting quietly at a desk handling the paper work that seems to follow the military everywhere. She smiled to herself that he was just weird enough to enjoy doing that. No wonder the man is dating a geek. He's one himself.

"You were wrong," she informed Lorne.

"I was wrong about what?" He didn't even bother looking up at his new visitor.

"About Rodney of course. He's not interested in bonding with the big guy. Something I believe I mentioned."

Lorne shifted his eyes to look at Cadman without raising his head and demanded sternly, "How do you know that?"

"Teyla told me. She would be in the know about these things."

This information caused Lorne to sit up straight. "Why did Teyla tell you such a thing?"

"Actually I came in at the tail end of a conversation between Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard. The first two were informing our commanding officer of this fact."

"Why?"

"Because they were trying to figure why McKay is being so moody. They do have to work with the man you know, off world and everything."

"How did they make the link between this bonding thing and Rodney?" Lorne couldn't picture the man sharing that information voluntarily.

"Maybe your boyfriend did the same stupid thing you did and jumped to conclusions that were wrong." Lorne gave Cadman an odd look like he wasn't quite following her. "He thinks you want to bond with Ronon."

Lorne arched an eyebrow. "Why would he think that?"

"Stop being so dense about this." Cadman tapped her friend on the head. "Because you asked. And though I know what the point of the question was McKay probably went in a whole other direction."

"Wait a minute, and they were telling Sheppard? What ever happened to Don't Tell?"

"Funny story about that..."

XXXX

"Hey, McKay. I heard something interesting about you today."

"Go away. Working." McKay's fingers flowed rapidly across the keyboard.

"I'm hurt, really, that I had to hear it elsewhere. I mean, I thought we were friends. Good friends. Close friends. The kind of friends that share. Best of..."

"Is there a point to the litany and can you get to it now," snapped McKay, cutting in. "That way I can get back to solving issues of great importance, matters that may some day be the difference between life and death."

"Yeah, right. You're probably doing Sudoku," scoffed Sheppard. "Caught you doing that in the last staff meeting."

"You came all the way down to my lab to tell me you caught me playing a game to pass the time during a sleep-inducing meeting."

"No. Hey, since I'm here maybe I can turn something on." Sheppard grinned madly, making McKay eye him with suspicion. The airman was definitely up to something. "Maybe you?"

"You're not my type." McKay scowled, it was clear his definitely straight team-mate had finally cracked. "Does your current lady friend know you are hitting on me?"

"It's the hair, isn't it?" Sheppard moaned. "You don't know what you are missing, passing over brunets."

"What are you talking about?" The scientist heaved a dramatic sounding sigh. "I somehow doubt that even you know what you are talking about."

"Sure I do." Sheppard laughed. "Those light haired folks – no guarantee that they will be light haired all over. Now the darker haired individuals are much more likely to be consistently coloured."

McKay sat there agape at the spectacle that was his team leader. He was at a loss for words.

"See, you should consider giving those with a darker mane a try."

"Are you actually hitting on me?" An edge of disbelief laced McKay's tone.

Sheppard cocked his eyebrow at the astrophysicist, trying but failing to keep a straight face in answer to the question.

"That's what I thought," McKay smirked.

"Seriously though, how could you not mention a little thing like being gay?"

"It's bi. And you told you?" McKay rubbed his eyes.

"It wasn't so much told as hinted at and guessed," Sheppard explained. "Your friends were cluing me in on what has been bothering you. Though, since I am one of your closest friends it should have been the other way around."

"The fact I am bi is not what's bothering me." McKay took the most literal interpretation.

"You know damn well that wasn't what I meant," huffed Sheppard. "You could've told me without bringing up names."

"You have met you, right? You'd never let it drop till all was revealed," griped McKay.

Sheppard simply bounced on the balls of his feet and shrugged.

XXXX

Laura Cadman leant against the wall, her attention divided between watching one friend in hand-to-hand combat practice (his third opponent in a row) and another glaring jealously at the goings-on on the mat. Though in fairness to McKay, the jealousy factor only entered the glare with Lorne's latest challenger, though there was no real reason for it, since the woman was clearly barking up the wrong tree. Cadman hummed to herself as she pushed off the wall and strolled over to the astrophysicist in question. This could require some teasing on her part.

"So what do you think? Do I have a chance if he changes teams?"

McKay jumped a little at the sound of Cadman's voice. He had not heard nor seen her approach at all. He groaned to himself before responding, "Go away. Your humour is not appreciated here."

"No, seriously. From the look on your face you seem to think she has a chance, so why not me as well."

"I have a list and not one of things on it involves you being a woman."

"That's your list. And really, once you've shared a body, there is no where else to go with the relationship," Cadman smirked.

"Ha! Ha! You're a riot," McKay deadpanned, waving Cadman away. "Please don't waste it all on me. Go! Share with the masses."

"So the Colonel was hitting on you, huh?" Cadman decided a change of topic was what McKay needed.

This comment got him to look at her for the first time. "Where did you get an idea like that?"

Cadman simply nodded towards Lorne who was finishing up.

"Idiot. He must have heard Sheppard's attempt at humour letting me know he knew. That would be the other idiot. Militaries breed them as you know," McKay sneered. As he was sceptical of the Colonel having worked out for himself after all this time, the scientist had to ask, "Speaking of idiots, what brilliant person told him?"

"No one. Really. He worked all out by himself." Cadman spread her hands out in front of her for emphasis. "I was there and witnessed it. Got a brain beneath that pretty hair of his."

McKay eyed the woman, "Sure it's not Sheppard you were wondering if you had a shot with?"

"Not my type," Cadman quipped with a smile.

"Who's not your type?" a nervous Lorne asked, because it was never comforting to see Cadman and McKay chatting.

"Never mind that," McKay snapped, still angry at the other man. "You shouldn't lead that poor woman on. Letting her get away with that during practice. You are a man whore."

Lorne pinched his nose and gave a snort of frustration, "I'm the man whore? First of all a whore charges so if anything it would be a slut and..."

Further comment was cut off by the loud guffaw from Cadman.

McKay directed one of the nastiest scowls in his arsenal at both individuals standing in front of him, "Don't play word games. One way or the other, you were all over that idea about Ronon."

"Really?" Cadman popped into the argument. "Because the way Evan tells it, you were the one all over the idea. So maybe you two should try comparing stories of what exactly went down before getting into a big fight. Oh, but not here, because in case you didn't notice – public gym area. Sometimes I am amazed that two completely insecure guys like yourselves ever got together in the first place, let alone stay together."

With that she flashed a quick smile at the two and left them alone to wallow in their confusion. Both men stood there looking at their feet rather than each other, contemplating what had been said.

Breaking the silence first, McKay commented, "What ever you overheard earlier wasn't what you thought it was."

"Huh?" Lorne popped his head up to look at his boyfriend. It took a moment to remember the snippet of conversation he had caught between his commanding officer and the scientist earlier that day. "Oh yeah, that. I guess it wouldn't be since..."

"Exactly."

Lorne shifted his gaze around the room to make sure no one was in hearing distance before he muttered in a lowered voice, "And really, I have no interest in getting together with anyone else. Just interested in you."

McKay looked at the airman sheepishly, "Me too. Just you."

"See, normally this is where we kiss and make up at least a little, but there are some marines over there." Lorne gestured towards a far corner of the room. "So why don't I grab a quick shower and we meet in your quarters later?"

"We need to talk about this anyway," McKay admitted grudgingly. "Even if we don't really want to."

"Yeah. Just promise this time you won't jump to conclusions and throw me out without at least explaining why."

"Fine."

Lorne reached over and gave McKay's arm a quick squeeze. "Love you."

With a shy smile, McKay murmured, "Love you too."


End file.
